/* TEAM */
Founder & CEO: Halloran Voss
Cortisol: classified
Location: undisclosed, well-lit

Chief Extraction Officer: vacant (the last one reached optimal band)
Director of Throughput: Carol M.
Cortisol: 16.1 µg/dL — optimal
Dedicated Extraction Strategist: assigned at the Sovereign tier

The Algorithm: Data Protection Officer
Cortisol: not applicable, which is the point

/* SITE */
Stack: hand-written HTML, CSS, and SVG. No framework was stressed
in the making of this site.
Hosting: GitHub Pages, behind cortiwatch.com
Analytics: Umami (cookieless), plus session replay — we watch you
read a site about being watched. Closed loop.
Standards: HTML5, schema.org, RFC 9116, the 4-minute override window
Last updated: Sprint 47

/* THANKS */
Rice P, Upasham S, Jagannath B, Manuel R, Pali M, Prasad S —
for the real science (Future Sci OA, 2019, doi:10.2144/fsoa-2019-0061).
They measured cortisol to advance medicine. We made it a KPI.
They are not affiliated with us. They are better than us.

/* TRUTH */
CortiWatch is satire. You found humans.txt, so you already knew.
Your curiosity has been logged and reflected in your Resilience Score.